Wanting More

Found this track on Youtube. I’m totally a blues and funk guy so I love the vibe of this track. Something different than the typical Christian music people usually produce both lyrically and musically. Check it out (not sure if it will show up in RSS readers. You might need to click to the site).

Well I’ve been thinking more and more about where I’m at in my spiritual journey.  In a post last week I talked about my desire to have a greater impact on non-believers around me. As I’ve been wrestling with it I’ve been reminded continually that it all starts with me.  

The big picture is that I want to see the world and lives changed for God. I think most believers would say that as well. The problem is that we’re so busy trying to change the world around us that we forget that the change starts with us.  If we want to see God work in our community and the people we interact with we need to first allow Him to work in our own lives. We cannot expect to have a real impact until we have been really impacted.  

This isn’t just a one time thing I’m talking about. We need to continually allow God to change and reshape us.  The changing of the world starts with the change in ourselves. So I’ve been trying to allow God into my life more and more to show me what still needs worked on. Unfortunately that’s never going to stop.  So the other thing that I need to remember is I can’t wait for me to have everything perfect (cause that’s never going to happen). I’m trying to find that balance or tension between allowing God to prepare me to go into the world and knowing that He’s with me and I’m capable of going out into the world.

So Monday was my son’s third birthday. I’ve never seen birthday celebrations like Liam got this week. Sunday was a birthday party with 3 of his grandparents. Monday was  a little party with his other grandparent. Wednesday was a blow out bash with a bunch of his little friends. Needless to say this morning Liam was asking about his party and for cake.  We’re trying to help him understand that his birthday has now past.

I had a blast watching all of the little kids yesterday but especially Liam. I love how free he is. He’s just partying and doesn’t have a care in the world. He could care less about what any of us think about how he looks. He doesn’t care if he “looks stupid”. Here’s a couple of picture of him blowing out his birthday candles and how excited he got when everyone was cheering and clapping. (Not sure if they’ll show up in RSS readers or not. Might have to click to the website)

Man I wish I was that free. Especially in my walk with and worship of God. I wish that when I was a worship leader I felt like I had the freedom to just celebrate God like that. Totally free to pour my all into it without a care of anything else. No worries of what others thought. Just giving into the moment between God and I.

Hi All

Sorry for the lack of a Resistance Fighters post yesterday. It was my little guys 3rd birthday on Monday and between celebrating on Sunday and Monday (one more party still to come on Wednesday) I’m a little behind on the blogging.  

So I was walking home this morning from an appointment (yes I chose to walk) and just letting my thoughts run a little. Reflecting on where life is at right now. The big thing that is missing for me right now is some ministry/outreach.  When I was working for a church I was constantly going on about needing to be more outwardly focused and reaching out to the community.  Right now I’m not really putting that in to practice in my own life. We still have no idea what we are going to do about church on a long term basis but this issue goes beyond that. 

I am the only believer in my family and one of only a handful of believers among all the people I grew up with.  Despite this I don’t feel like I’m spiritually investing in any ones life. I’m not connecting with people I should be and I’m not in the community the way I feel believers should be. I am building into the lives of my students and have had a number of fantastic conversations with some recently. I have a few who really feel comfortable sharing stuff with me when they’re having a hard time but I still feel like there’s more.  

Maybe I’m being too hard on myself. Maybe I’m missing some good that I am doing.  I am thrilled with the direction my life is taking right now but I do still feel like there is something missing.  I’m not positive what it is but I’m looking forward to finding out what  it is and what God is going to do with it.  

As I’ve been writing this post the thought that started going through my mind is that the key for me is to be patient. I have a tendency to try and force things sometimes when I feel like I’m missing something. I need to remember that the plan for this time was transition and healing.  Why would I want to force or rush that? I want to come out of this time energized and refreshed and prepared for whatever ministry God has planned for me.  

Thanks for reading my ramblings. This wasn’t my intent but it was very therapeutic.

It really doesn’t take much to make someone smile and perhaps change their day.  (RSS subscribers may need to click to the site to see the video).